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If you promise not to take this silly example too far replacement effects work like having a Magic Sharpie that allows the card to yell Scratch that! and rewrite some ability, rule, or event

Sylvan Advocate / Tarmogof 4.5 I actually think I rate the Advocate higher than the Goyf in this list

I mean, that's not a design question

If the creature can't attack any of those players but could otherwise attack, it must attack a planeswalker an opponent controls, a battle an opponent controls, or a player who goaded it.